meet the densmores

One Sunday morning, back in the middle of a Melbourne winter, I spent the morning with some dear friends. Some of my most favourite people on the face of the planet.

Kate and I met over ten years ago when we were both legal PAs in a big, fancy, stuck up law firm. She had just said goodbye to her new fiancé, as he set off for a six month deployment at sea. She planned the wedding while he was away. It wouldn't be the last time he was sent away for half a year.

Kate had been saying for the past year.. We must get you over to take our photos! The kids are getting so big! Kate struggles to say no - to anything. She is one of the busiest people I have ever known. We tried to work out dates.. the months would pass.. finally, we locked it in the diary.

It was that very morning that we realised why it had taken us so long to get ourselves sorted. Joe, their cheeky, naughty, loveable beagle, had ailments and illness creeping in over that last year. His behaviour had changed because of his condition and he was no longer the carefree Joe Joe they once knew.

Three days after our shoot, Joe passed away.

voices of 2014 // online masterclass

So a while ago, I received a rather surprising email from the lovely team at Kidspot, telling me I was to be inducted into the Voices of 2014 Hall of Fame. Yes, I read the email twice to make sure I understood it correctly. Ridiculous and wonderful at the same time!

This online community we are a part of, really is something else. It gives us so much, in so many ways. A sounding board, a voice, a strangely inviting big black hole to empty all our overflowing thoughts into, simply lightening the load - whether anyone reads it or not.

Above any awards or praise littered along my short journey, I take away the many wonderful people who have been brought into my life because of that one day I decided to write my first post. Connections, links, relationships and opportunities have come my way - yes, because I was open and brave enough to spread my arms wide and invite them in - and sometimes, simply because I was in the right place at the right time.

The girls at Kidspot recently asked me to contribute to this year's online masterclass. Umm.. I'm sorry, whaaattt?

Since beginning this little blog, opportunities have presented themselves and I have said yes. Even when I didn't want to; when my initial reaction was instant fear or a desire to run in the opposite direction. But for the last few years, I remember this quote I once read by Richard Branson..

If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you're not sure you can do it, say yes - then learn how to do it later.

So that's what I do. I allow myself those few minutes of freak out and then my brain goes back to normal and I say yeah, of course!

I've never done anything like this before.. so of course I hope it all goes well and that those joining the masterclass this afternoon will take something from it. Chatting with Kidspot's tech man, he has said the video file has lost quality when being compiled with the rest of the masterclass.. which makes me really nervous that what I submitted may not be what people will see.. but it is out of my control and I can only hope for the best. Should the quality be less than satisfactory (for my Virgo driven high expectations), I will post the class here later tonight.

So if you haven't heard about it..

Voices of 2014 Online Masterclass
Today - Wednesday 18 June at 12 noon

There will be a live Twitter chat going on at 8pm this evening under #Voicesof2014, which I won't be a part of. Because I'm not on Twitter.. so lame, but really, I struggle enough with the few social media platforms I use already! But I think there will be a Facebook question time set up for next week if there is anything you would like to ask following the masterclass. I'll keep you posted.

I hope you can make it - I know the Kidspot team have worked really hard to make it the best it can be. I'll be sandwiched between two blogging greats, in the fabulous Katrina Chambers and one of my absolute favourites, Lexi Kentmann of Pottymouthmama. Pinch me.

a year of motherhood / the link up

So we are 59 days into our 365 project, A Year of Motherhood. To date, it has proven to be enjoyable, fulfilling and on more days than I had expected, challenging.

Milina and I have both felt the back to school routine slump this month where leisurely, carefree holidays are all but forgotten and we are back to the clock watching grind of daily life with smalls. Perhaps a little dramatic there.. but some days it feels as though that's all I see. A giant fucking clock, tick tick tick.

I welcomed the new year with great, sparkly, creative gusto and it seems to have fizzled over the last few weeks of this month. But I am pushing through to get back to where I want to be. There is much to do, but some days it all seems too much and I am unsure where to begin. But like someone famous once said - just start.

Milina and I are so VERY grateful for the response we have received from you all since we began A Year of Motherhood. Such warmth and generosity of words and spirit - thankyou! So many of you - mothers - seeing our snippets of everyday life, with no words or explanation, and understanding - fully. The mess, the chaos, the love, the laughter. The great stuff, the normal stuff, the hard stuff; the stuff that will break you by the end of the day when you are waiting for your husband to walk through the door only to hear your phone beep, telling you he's stuck at work and won't be home before the kids are in bed. That.

From the beginning, we set out to include you in our project. But as motherhood goes, time flies past and there is always too much to do, plans are made but not always carried out.

We want to see your photos. Your Year of Motherhood.

At the end of each month (barring January because we were both sucked into the boggy quicksand that is back to school/end of holidays crazy) we will be hosting a link up for you to share your photos of motherhood. Milina and I will share a handful of our favourite images from the month that has passed (this month we're combining January and February) and we invite you to do the same. You can link up here or over at Milina's and your post will appear on both lists. If you don't have a blog but would like to be involved, we would love you to share your moments on Instagram with the hashtag #ayearofmotherhood.

We can't wait to see how YOUR Year of Motherhood looks!

An InLinkz Link-up

friendship (the real kind)

Last week I was around at my little sister's house shooting the final instalment of our BABY LOVE project before baby was due to arrive. My other sister and family are here too on an extended Christmas/waiting for baby to arrive holiday (since I started writing this post, he has arrived!). The BIL cooked prawn skewers on the barbie for dinner at a ridiculously adult time of 9pm. NINE PM. Then we sat around talking shit and laughing until we cried. Man, that is THE BEST.

Questions were posed about when I was in labour and how I managed to birth my three smalls drug free. We shared stories about weird questions asked by expectant parents in our prenatal classes. It shocks me that some people really have NO IDEA about what happens when you give birth. It is intriguing, hilarious and disturbing all at once. My BIL was interested to know what the husband had done while I had been in labour. Telling him to kindly get the fuck away from me with his stinky cafeteria pizza slice as I breathed through contractions gave a good belly laugh. At their last appointment with their obstetrician (who was my obstetrician for all my births), my BIL asked him if he had ever experienced the husbands/partners turning up to the birthing suite seriously inebriated after having a few too many in an effort to calm the nerves. Michael didn't even flinch and replied 'yeah, of course!'. Um.. what the?! Our obstetrician also delivered a gorilla at some point during his career. Yes, I said GORILLA. Interesting guy.

Talk turned to pregnancy in general--other friends who were pregnant--pregnant friends on Facebook--other friends on Facebook--REAL friends on Facebook--NOT-so-real friends on Facebook--culling said not-so-real friends on Facebook. One of my sisters has just done a NY cull and said she feels all the better for it. I've never done one because I am pretty selective when I get a friend request, but I think there could be a handful I could let go of when I think about it. I've only ever unfriended someone once. The only time I have ever felt like a 16 year old in my 30s. But it was warranted so I am totally okay with playing the 16 year old for the split second it took to hit the unfriend button.

Friendship is a weird and wonderful thing. And I think, very different to what it used to be. Or perceived to be. Because of social media and not having to actually spend face to face time with people to get to know them enough to call them a friend. It is both wonderful and kinda creepy. We can feel as if we know people just by reading about them on the net. Since I began blogging this has happened many times over. I am happy to report there is the tiniest handful of people who I have gone on to meet in the flesh and think.. hmmm.. you're not at all what I perceived you to be. Because it's all about perception - isn't it?

Some people are great at reading the gag, laughing at themselves, not taking things too seriously, feeling the mood of an email/article/blog post the way it was intended. And then there are those who are not.

Some of those people I met and became 'friends' with online, and then went on to meet in real life, have become really wonderful real friends. Friends who I would call if I was in trouble and needed help. I could count my close friends on both of my hands and still have a few fingers left over. I remember mum telling me this as a teenager and I thought it sounded quite sad. But she was right. She usually is. (I said USUALLY, mum..)

For me, I think I get better with age. At everything. Mindset, perseverance, positivity, motherhood, wife stuff, confidence, bravery, not giving a shit what other people think. Me. Just me. Some people seem to go in the opposite direction, or at least peak at some point and then head south. Like those high school friends you might run into once in a blue moon, have a lovely chat, and then walk away thinking 'Shit. Life has been haaaaarsh'. (And don't judge me on that one, you know you've done it. And yes, you totally walked away feeling superior--as if you were 16 again.)

Sometimes I suck at friendship. I forget birthdays or anniversaries. My memory is like a sieve. I totally blame the kids for that. Or I remember in the morning when I look at the calendar and what needs to be done for the day. Then think about them ALL day while I run around doing all the stuff that needs to be done, and then somewhere during the evening dinner/bath/bedtime routine, forget about them altogether. Then do a few hours work and somewhere around 11pm think - SHIT! Then it's too late to call and wish them happy birthday. Because I was taught that it's rude to call after 9pm because the person on the other end of the phone will think you are the police. Calling to tell them their loved one has died in a terrible car accident. Yep. So I send them a lame text to make sure they know I really DO love them and didn't really forget about them. Just for the few hours that mattered when I should have called.

But I fess up. I apologise. I want them to know I'm sorry for my lameness. And they laugh at me and we're cool. Because that's what friends do. We forgive each other and don't sweat the small stuff.

I think that's all I need from a good friendship. Honesty. I want you to be honest with me. And I expect the same from you. I can't bullshit you and tell you one thing and then do the opposite. Actually, I probably could. But a better of choice of words would be will not. I will not do that. If you want my opinion, I'll give it to you. My honest opinion. And chances are, if you are one of the few friends I count on both hands as my closest, then you already know my response.

If we ever met in real life, I hope you would find the very same person you find, when you come here to read me. I used to be really shy as a kid. I don't talk that much unless I am really comfortable with who I am with. I don't say much unless it's something worthwhile. I'm a very good judge of character. I look after myself. I take pride in my appearance. I'm a lady--most of the time. And as I get older, I find a substantial amount of profanity creeping into my vocabulary. And I don't care. Because I won't hide who I am. Or who I am working on becoming. And I won't surround myself with people who don't get that or won't show any care for the really great people in their lives. In my book, that's totally worth unfriending.

To my friends who appreciate me for who I am, and put up with me not calling you on your birthday at the right time--thankyou. You enrich my life and make me feel so lucky to only need two hands to count you all on xxx

*The pulling faces thing up there? My BIL heard that if you pull the corners of your mouth apart, as far as they will go, that's kinda what if feels like when the baby is crowning. I was quick to reassure him that wasn't correct. It hurts a hell of a lot more than that.

a year of motherhood / a collaboration

My beautiful friend Milina. You know her, yes?

She's got a big heart, a warm, infectious smile and she gives the best hugs. And we laugh a lot. Like when I pretend to be the same height as her in that bottom left pic. Honestly, I don't feel that tall when I am with her..?

Last year I sent her a book in the mail for her birthday. She had made a decision about something big, but was struggling with her confidence. I am all about the positive energy and getting rid of all the shit that brings you down. I am unique. I am talented. I am enough. We all are. But sometimes we need to be told by others, whether it be close friends, strangers or authors.

Then a couple of days before my birthday, a little package arrived in my letterbox. Which I don't think was actually a birthday gift because the card mentioned nothing about birthdays.. she just managed to time it right by chance.

You've been inspiring me since before I even met you. I feel so grateful to be able to call you a friend.
Here's to continuing inspiration, creativity and making the most of our mornings.
Big love, Milina xxxx

Late last year I suggested we collaborate. We both love being behind the lens and sometimes we can only break through barriers by being pushed by others, or with others. Healthy competition is a very good thing.

My mind has felt very clear since Christmas passed. After months, I finally had time to breathe. It felt as though there was space for my thoughts to move around without bumping into one another. Late one night, a thought popped into my head--like a lightbulb, just like in the movies.

Me, her, a project.

Taking our cue from A Year of Mornings / 3191 Miles Apart, A Year of Motherhood was born. We're not trying to copycat these talented women, no, most certainly not. The project just seemed to fit--like a glove--both of us with a copy of the book--having received it as a heartfelt gift of gratitude, inspiration and friendship. A great foundation for anything to be built upon, really.

Last year I really enjoyed the Kids Were Here series. This year they may only feature every few months, or perhaps, not at all. Because many of the images I would usually use for that series, will end up as part of our 365 collection of motherhood. And I want this one to be special. I want this one to shine.

I'm so looking forward to this project. For myself and for my friend--with my friend. I wonder where it will take us..? Who knows. But I know the road ahead is bright. I know it will only serve to strengthen our bond and fill us with even more gratitude for having made our way into each other's lives. Because of this weird and wonderful thing called the internet.

If you'd like to follow along with our little project, you can do so with Bloglovin' and Facebook. You can find us separately over here.

*These images kindly taken by Milina's lovely sister

the best days

I'm grateful for the best days. THE BEST. The End.

Joining other gratefuls over at Kidspot Village Voices

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