Do you celebrate Valentine's Day? One of those that make today the most sickly romantic day of the year? It seems quite normal - a regular behaviour for such a day. It barely registers on my calendar. It serves to remind me that my brother in law's birthday is the day before, and that two years ago, I was praying that Eliot did not choose such a date to make his grand entrance into this world. Thankfully he decided the sixteenth would be a far better date to declare his birthday. Thankyou my little love.
My husband used to be more romantic. In those first years we were together. Which is pretty normal I think. Seven years into married life, and nine together in total, the definition of romance has changed somewhat and V Day is non existent for us. Occasionally he will surprise me with a bunch of flowers or a card, but I never expect anything. And neither does he. And I'm totally okay with that. I find the day a little strange to be honest. All the heart shaped confectionary and singing stuffed toys. Plenty may feel differently, but I don't need to be showered with flowers or chocolates or a fancy dinner for him to show me he loves me - or vice versa. We show and tell each other every day that our love is strong. Hubby is a quiet soul. He really only speaks if it's absolutely necessary. And even when it is absolutely necessary - he may still say nothing. He prefers useful action, to words.
If he has really busy weeks at work where he knows he will miss bedtime routine, and being able to spend time with the kids before they go to bed, he will do tasks and chores around home in the morning that will make my life easier at the end of the day, so that the evening schedule can run as smoothly as possible with one man down. Once dinner is done, my day of kitchen duty is officially over. He is chief cleaner and dishwasher stacker, restoring order swiftly and routinely. It seems he is forever folding and sorting washing. When I have thrown the towel in for the day, unable to move from the couch, he can be found in the other lounge room, folding and sorting clean clothes into piles to be put away while he watches the tele. I tell him it can wait till morning - he never listens. He says once it's done, it's done. If he goes to the shop on the way home from work, or after the kids are in bed, he returns with a chocolate surprise. He changes the sheets every Sunday morning. He is in charge of the vacuuming. He has a system as finely tuned as his evening Operation Clean Kitchen. He does the washing without being asked. Some weekends he is the only one near the washing machine. Weekdays, he will wait in the mornings to hang it out, before he heads to work because he knows it will be one less thing on my to-do-list for the day. He will bust his arse at work on a Tuesday so that he can leave early to take Ruby to her dance class.
Hubby comes from quite a conservative family when it comes to open affection. Which is perhaps why he is the complete opposite in his adulthood. He has always been open with public displays of affection and craves touch to feel loved. The PDAs do not extend to sending beautiful big bunches of flowers to my workplace (pre kids of course) to declare his undying love. However, he did propose on the top of the Summit at Mt Buller in front of quite a number of strangers.
I'll take my dish washing, clothes sorting, bed making hubby over a flower and chocolate giving one, any day.
photo by Tim