Thursday, 14 February 2013

v day

Do you celebrate Valentine's Day? One of those that make today the most sickly romantic day of the year? It seems quite normal - a regular behaviour for such a day. It barely registers on my calendar. It serves to remind me that my brother in law's birthday is the day before, and that two years ago, I was praying that Eliot did not choose such a date to make his grand entrance into this world. Thankfully he decided the sixteenth would be a far better date to declare his birthday. Thankyou my little love.

My husband used to be more romantic. In those first years we were together. Which is pretty normal I think. Seven years into married life, and nine together in total, the definition of romance has changed somewhat and V Day is non existent for us. Occasionally he will surprise me with a bunch of flowers or a card, but I never expect anything. And neither does he. And I'm totally okay with that. I find the day a little strange to be honest. All the heart shaped confectionary and singing stuffed toys. Plenty may feel differently, but I don't need to be showered with flowers or chocolates or a fancy dinner for him to show me he loves me - or vice versa. We show and tell each other every day that our love is strong. Hubby is a quiet soul. He really only speaks if it's absolutely necessary. And even when it is absolutely necessary - he may still say nothing. He prefers useful action, to words.

If he has really busy weeks at work where he knows he will miss bedtime routine, and being able to spend time with the kids before they go to bed, he will do tasks and chores around home in the morning that will make my life easier at the end of the day, so that the evening schedule can run as smoothly as possible with one man down. Once dinner is done, my day of kitchen duty is officially over. He is chief cleaner and dishwasher stacker, restoring order swiftly and routinely. It seems he is forever folding and sorting washing. When I have thrown the towel in for the day, unable to move from the couch, he can be found in the other lounge room, folding and sorting clean clothes into piles to be put away while he watches the tele. I tell him it can wait till morning - he never listens. He says once it's done, it's done. If he goes to the shop on the way home from work, or after the kids are in bed, he returns with a chocolate surprise. He changes the sheets every Sunday morning. He is in charge of the vacuuming. He has a system as finely tuned as his evening Operation Clean Kitchen. He does the washing without being asked. Some weekends he is the only one near the washing machine. Weekdays, he will wait in the mornings to hang it out, before he heads to work because he knows it will be one less thing on my to-do-list for the day. He will bust his arse at work on a Tuesday so that he can leave early to take Ruby to her dance class.

Hubby comes from quite a conservative family when it comes to open affection. Which is perhaps why he is the complete opposite in his adulthood. He has always been open with public displays of affection and craves touch to feel loved. The PDAs do not extend to sending beautiful big bunches of flowers to my workplace (pre kids of course) to declare his undying love. However, he did propose on the top of the Summit at Mt Buller in front of quite a number of strangers.

I'll take my dish washing, clothes sorting, bed making hubby over a flower and chocolate giving one, any day.

photo by Tim


  1. Your husband sounds incredible, Tahnee. What a team player around the house! I completely agree with all of the above. Hubby and I are almost 2 years married so we are being a bit corny and lovey today, but I don't mind one bit. He doesn't really like V Day but is making an effort nevertheless which makes it that bit more special.
    Happy V Day ;)

  2. What a refreshing V day post! Completely agree-its such a big commercialistic (that's so not a word) marketing ploy! I too have a very hands on husband who prefers to show his love on the other 364 days in the year! Only new to the blogging world but really enjoying your posts. Taleah

  3. Ah that is one of my most favorite photos of you guys ever - you are SO beautiful. And your words have really hit home with me, I would take the kind of man you have over a chocolate-giving cutesy man any day! There is nothing sexier than helping with the housework... let me tell you! Hope your Valentine's is extra special this year. Kiss to you x

  4. What a fantastic man!
    And on another note ... I did not realise that Eliot's birthday is 16 February - that is a great day to have a birthday (he shares it with my dad).
    A preemptive big Happy Birthday for Saturday!

  5. Aaaahhwww lovely post! I'm with you Mark and I don't need a day in a calendar to remind us to show the other they are loved. Like you and P we show love in the gestures, words, touch and kindness we offer one another on a daily basis.

    I'd forgotten the date of E's birthday. Happy Birthday to the boy with the golden curls and cheeky smile. I look forward to seeing what amazing cake creation your Muma makes you.
    Hugs from afar Rxx

  6. Gorgeous words Tahnee and I agree completely. The most romantic thing a man can do is to help with the mundane household chores that taking care of a family requires. We don't celebrate it either but hubby always brings home dinner on V day so that I don't have to cook which is great because cooking dinner day in day out is my least favourite chore! Happy birthday Eliot!

  7. Ha that is so funny because he is exactly the same as my husband. Not romantic at all but is my dish washer, clothes washer, cleaner too. We have a very strong relationship and agree that we know we love each other every day not just today. Sam x

  8. I am just about to read this post to Johnny. He's not too bad, but seems to be allergic to the laundry. It is quite comical watching him fold snd trying to figure out what belongs to who. It's not been rare to find some of my clothes in Ruby's pile!! We don't do valentines either. I would actually tell him off if he spent the preposterous amount of money on flowers that they ask of these days

    1. There is something so much sexier about a man who does his fair share, than one that bares flowers one day a year. Well to me anyway.
      Sorry about the comment this way, trying to comment on phone is not ideal.

  9. It sounds like a beautiful love. Elliot and I share the same birthday! x

  10. I agree, although I did get choc and flowers. Pauls prezy was me cooking doing the dishes and doing his share of the wedding in the garden x that romance to him x

  11. its all those little things that counts isn't it? not the big flowers and chocolates affection for one day. i used to be a florist and i found the over the top (or even the "i have to buy a flower for the missus") day quite baffling sometimes. romance is so much more than flowers and chocs.

    happy to have found your blog


  12. He sounds perfect Tahnee. I have one quite similar - he's "mums" the kids while i work 2-3 days a week and sometimes does a better job than I do! We don't do V-day either. We're stubborn. Plus our anniversary is in March - 15 years this year. But I have to admit that this week, on the 14th, when i got home from work, he was waiting outside, snuck me in around the back of the house and let me sit down for 5 minutes with a cup of coffee before the kids realised i was home. It's the little things! :)

  13. Looking after your love and treating her as a precious equal is the most romantic thing a man can do. x

    PS - I write this on Sunday afternoon, waiting for my movie to start at the cinema. Letting your precious love duck out for a film is the second most romantic thing a man can do!!! Happy Valentine's day, T. x


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