Life is BUSY, yeah? We've hit that time of year where it feels like there's a steamroller screaming up behind us and it's got enough fuel to run steady - and ramp up speed - from now until about 7pm on Christmas Eve where a hot cuppa, a pile of unwrapped presents and Love Actually awaits.
It's exhausting just thinking about it. It should not be November already. It just shouldn't.
So much to do, so little time. Same old deal. Need more hours in the day. BLAH BLAH BLAH. There are posts to write, long overdue family sessions to share, projects to complete, lists to compile, commitments to keep.. and on it goes.
I want to be here so much, to have a better rhythm, better consistency. But I just can't seem to manage it. There is editing, planning, research to be done. There are three little people that need me from sun up to sun down. There is a husband who has been working like a dog which is equally hard on both of us. Emotionally, logistically, rhythmically.
I have learnt to accept those days that show up to put you in your place, that make you stay on your feet all day long and have nothing to show for at the end of the day bar a bomb stricken house that you spent all day cleaning yet would appear as though you cleaned nothing at all.
But I am determined to push through. I will go gently on myself on the days that allow, but I expect they will be few and far between from here until the finish line.
But that's what we do, right? We get the stuff DONE. We tick off the list. Even if it means 5am starts and (way past) midnight finishes. We have another coffee and get on with it.
Dotted between the commitments and NECESSARY, there is WONDERFUL to look forward to. A little break to recharge the batteries before it all goes too crazy. Sunshine. The beach. Parents. Grandparents. Nephews who turn one.
And there is official permission to play carols. I shall discard my denial that Christmas cannot POSSIBLY be next month, and we will sing. LOUDLY.
And we shall go to Ikea. Yes, that should definitely help.