Monday, 31 December 2012

the obligatory blogger wrap post

I'm on my parents' computer. A PC. Windows. A regular clunky keyboard. It just feels weird. When I hurriedly scrambled a few quick posts together to see me through the last week before Christmas while already on holidays, I never thought as far ahead as now. New Year's Eve. And now reading so many end of year wraps out there in the blogosphere, I wish I had. What would an end of year wrap be for me without bombarding you with photos? Instead I must make do with rehashing from only the last few months of 2012 which is all my blogger image archive will allow (double image width and all..). Better than nothing I guess.

At the beginning of the year I joined Bron in choosing one word that would hopefully shape the year ahead. I have to say that I found my focus in spits and spats throughout the year. I have most certainly not come to the end of 2012 with a more focussed view on every aspect of my life. But perhaps that is not what I needed after all. I found focus in places I wasn't expecting to, in places I felt at the beginning of the year, were not as important as others. Of course, Life knew that was exactly where I needed to find it.

It came to me in places of motherhood, which I think was really as far as I was looking, back at the beginning. Being present and all that. Motherhood is all encasing for me, as for many mothers. It is my work as well as my play. I don't have a day job to escape to or be responsible for, to converse with grown adults and speak of adult things. I live and breathe my kids. I am rarely apart from them. This year I also spoke about time for myself. If I'm being honest, I think I forgot about this bit quite early into the year. It's so easy to do when your smalls need you for everything. But in those moments where everything fell apart, or was close to crumble, I could see it. And I took time away for myself to get my shit together again. Even if that only meant an hour by myself at the shops to get milk and bread.

As I reflect on the year that was, I see it - the focus - came to me throughout the year like a little steam train.  Beginning as a muffled toot in the far, far off distance, chugging gently along, and slowly becoming louder and louder before I realised it was running right by my face. For the thing I was not expecting. The thing that was not even on my radar. The thing that I love, the thing I am good at. The thing that makes sense. The thing that would allow me to be responsible for adult things, while still continuing to be completely present with my smalls. The thing that would unleash years of pent up creativity. The thing that would make me happy. There is risk, and fear, but there is faith.

The past year of blogging has given me so much. It is a strange thing to feel surrounded by such talented, creative and supportive people, but actually be alone. This online community was a big part in obtaining the focus this year, another unexpected. Through the best bits and the worst bits, instagrammers and bloggers were inspiring me whether I needed it or not. Seeing my little blog listed on some of my favourite blogger reading lists for all to see this year, was a real milestone for me.

There will be some big changes happening in our home in the new year. Changes I am both hesitant and excited about. Some things are going to happen that I don't want to. But I must look at the glass half full. I will surround myself with positivity - which at times can be quite a challenge when your husband is naturally fairly negative - and remind myself of my goals where I can see them every day. On the fridge, the chalkboard, on my bedside table, at the computer, in the laundry. I don't make resolutions, but this year I am. Or goals, which is pretty similar I think. I need a concrete list in front of me to work toward, to keep me on track, to remind me of what I NEED amongst the day to day magic and monotony of motherhood. Because I am now at a point in this mothering journey where caring for the kids and giving them all THEY need, is no longer giving me all that I NEED. And I feel no guilt in such admission. Time waits for no one and I'm not going to be left behind.

I hope the last evening of the year for you is spent doing something you love. Happy New Year, friends xx


  1. Happy new year Tahnee, Paul and all the smalls! I have really enjoyed reading all of the plights of Cheatau P. We must catch up soon, love Donna, Jase and Jackson xxx

  2. Happy New Year Tahnee !! Love this wrap up post ... I wish you much luck and happiness in your future endeavours, may 2013 bring you what you are looking for! PS - am feeling exactly as you are with this mothering gig, love my kids, love my time with them, needing something more for me ... it's a tough balance, I hope you find it! x

  3. I hope the New Year brings for you all the possibilities that it promises :) I think the trick is to look at life with a 'glass half full' mentality and one must never forget him or herself. Don't ever feel guilt in wanting to make yourself happier, healthier... All of us motehr s are reading your post Tahnee and nodding at every word :) I have really enjoyed your space this year and look forward to more reading and seeing your lovely pictures next year...

    Sophie xo

  4. Raising my champers glass to you now lovely Tahnee! Wishing you a year of adventure, growth, racing hearts, reflection with kindness and much, much love :) x

  5. Love you Tahnee! Hope your new year is magical - really looking forward to seeing what's in store for you! :)

  6. Happy New Year beautiful!! You've wrapped up so well. Faith - I love the power that word can bring. I have faith in you too, and am so excited for what 2013 is going to bring you. Although there will be the strain on the heart in one instance, there is some fire in the bellies about to start roaring. I'm so proud and excited for you!
    I love the ideas about goals in the laundry. I'm going to do that!! I feel it's going to be a year of changes for me to. Better things are coming.
    Loads of love to you xxxx
    Ps. Yes, definitely need to catch up before school starts. Let me know when you're back x

  7. Wishing you a lovely year ahead. Happy new year to you. x

  8. Just found you- Happy new year, off for a look around, Lovely blog, Jxx

  9. Your beautiful words blow me away every time, you my dear are something special.

    A very happy new year to you and your gorgeous family. I do so hope to meet you in the year ahead!


  10. When are you launching your photography business? These shots are stunning! I absolutely adore them x

  11. A very happy new year to you and your family. I hear you on the needing more then being a mother. I am blessed with having one more year with my little man before he starts school, but I am in the working out stage on what I can do around him.

  12. Just popped over to say what a gorgeous blog you have and your photos are divine. xx

  13. love all of these photos. and 'ruby' on jessie's foot?! brilliant.
    happy new year, may this year help dreams come true.
    xx ashley

  14. Loved reading this. I hope you find what it is that you need this year....
    Ronnie xo


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