Thursday, 19 April 2012

i'm sorry

Sometimes I feel like the week is not long enough for blogging. I've got too much to say and not enough days to say it in. I like doing the linkies. I like doing my weekend love posts, linking up with Lou for Point + Shoot, I like doing my {snap it} posts, linking up with Sarah, I like to doing my {this moment} posts, linking up with Amanda, I like doing my grateful posts, linking up with Bron. Four posts in a week with big, bold reserved signs stuck on them. I do it because I enjoy it. I enjoy sharing my words and photos. Der. Like you hadn't figured that out. I enjoy the community the linky business involves. And to be honest, I enjoy the traffic it has brought my way. But that was just a bonus. It's not the reason I play these weekly links. First and foremost, it's the enjoyment factor. And if I find the enjoyment disappears, then I'll stop playing along.

I spent some time over at Dani's last night. I love visiting her. She is always incredibly honest, which is what most of us are looking for, I think. I am drawn to the honest ones. Just bashing out post after post about real life stuff. 98% of the blogs I read are real life stuff. Very rarely will a fashion/interiors/style blog hold my attention. Even though I find this content interesting and inspiring. That's why I can't go past Beth. She takes poll position for me. Her honesty goes above and beyond. And all the while she does it with style. And sarcasm. And heart. And plenty of profanity. And the combo is delicious.

I was watching a video of Dani's gorgeous daughter reciting a rhyme she had learnt at school, which then led me to this video which I had not seen. I am just a baby blogger. A newborn, if you will. I am still learning. I am yet to encounter a hater, but I have no doubt the day will come. And I have no doubt I will take it personally, and it will upset me. I have no doubt I will build a bridge. I also have no doubt there are plenty of people out there who roam about the blogosphere purely to bring people down, spread their bad seed, hate. Being a lover, I have no idea why people do this, or what they achieve from it. Your comment is deleted. You have no power. The author holds the power. I still hear the words my mother taught me as a child, if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And I now preach it to my children.

Again, Dani's honesty wins me over. I nodded along with nearly everything she said. Especially when she talks about {being accused of} not showing you are thankful to your readers for visiting, and for their comments, by replying. I am guilty. As charged. I should write a disclaimer with my little comment welcome. I adore receiving comments, I read every one. I am grateful for every one. I love to hear from you, no matter the content ~ which posts you particularly enjoy, why a certain post has resonated with you enough to leave a comment, giving me encouragement, support, a motherly/friendly {cyber}hug. Whatever it be, I love it. And I want to publicly apologise. To say sorry for not responding to all of your comments. I know some people feel that if they don't receive a reply then I am not acknowledging your contribution. Or hearing your voice. Which is not the case at all. I hear you, I acknowledge you.

When I leave a comment on a fellow blogger's page, I never expect a reply. {Except when I ask what lens are you using? I'm not asking that for my health. I really would like to know what lens you're using!} Though I always receive one from beautiful Cherie. She breaks all the rules. She wins first prize in the comment reply category (I don't know where you find the time, woman??!). I have been trying to be better at it. But it doesn't seem to be happening.

Dani also talks about not visiting bloggers who have visited yours, and more so, visited and followed. This one gets me. I have had some truly lovely comments from wonderful women all over the globe. Women whose blogs are lovely, but nothing like mine (in a content sense). Wonderful women like Connie. Yet they have liked what they've seen here and hit join this site. When I receive a comment or a new follower, I always check you out. Always. Sometimes it results in a new blog to follow. Sometimes it results in putting a face to a name. Sometimes it results in a bookmark, so I can check in every now and then, but don't necessarily feel I need to see your daily posts. Your blog may not be my cup of tea. And I think that's okay. I don't follow a blog, to have them follow me back. {And don't even get me started on Instagram. Seriously people.} I follow because I enjoy what I see and I want to see more of it. My time is precious. Your time is precious. I see little point in following blogs I am not going to read, that are going to clog up my feed, just for me to skip over every day, because I didn't want to hurt your feelings and not follow you back. We are grown ups.

I also revisited this post as it is something I have been thinking about lately. Because I have been a bad blogger. I have not been commenting as much of late. Because life is getting in the way at the moment. I hate when that happens. It should pass in a few weeks. I hope. I actually laughed through the first paragraph, because I could have written it. Yes, my mum and sisters read along. But do they comment? Um, no. Do I find that strange? Um, yes. But at the same time, I get it. I don't allow anonymous comments, because I don't want to set myself up for the haters. If you are coward enough to hide behind anonymous status and leave horrible comments, then don't waste my time. If you want to be a hater, put your face out there, for all to see. Be a proud hater. Not a slimy one. I know there are plenty of lovely anonymous commenters who feel they don't want, or need, a google account. They don't think they need a feed for their daily blog reads. I used to think the same thing. I thought it was just one more thing, one more account to create, one more password to remember, one more thing to add to the list. Turns out it was, um, easy. And useful! Who knew? And to those readers, the anonymous ones, I sincerely apologise that you are unable to comment if you ever wanted to, but I have to look out for me. And I hope you understand and appreciate that.

This post is a hell of a lot longer than I intended. Sorry to bore you. I just wanted to say sorry. I'm sorry.

Something far less boring tomorrow. I may actually show you some of these. Truly!


  1. A great post, not boring one bit! And I don't think you need to apologise at all. We are all human, people! You've got me thinking that maybe your mum saying should be above the comment box?? "If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" haha :) But honestly {and perhaps I'm just naive}, I thought that was a given. xx

  2. Oh Tahnee I've been feeling exactly the same about not being able to comment as much as I'd like to right now. Life is definitely getting in the way for me and I feel like I'm missing out big time on this lovely little community! Your other points are interesting and I've found myself nodding along. I'm sure we'll get back to it soon enough - I guess that's the beauty of blogging, the ebb and flow. x

  3. I ALMOST did what I usually do - comment in my head and then click away from the page!
    I agree with everything that you've said. Apart from the anonymous thing, which I allow as that is how my family comment, unless they comment on my personal facebook page.
    I don't think you need to apologise though. I know for me, the time it takes to write one post takes long enough, let alone reply to comments and comment on every other blog I read. I would be glued to either my phone or the computer. As it is, Ruby tells me enough to put my phone down when I'm on instagram.
    I think we all appreciate we are all busy mothers, are all in the same boat, and we shouldn't expect too much, even though the acknowledgement is sometimes the highlight of the day!
    Big love to you xo

  4. There is never enough time to blog and comment. never.

    But early on I took on the advice to always always always, blog your own race. That way, I do what I can, read, comment and link where I can and that is just enough.

  5. I feel the same way Tahnee and could have written this very post myself. Blogging is a fine balance, its like a juggling act, there is never enough time to do it all. It's all about the balance. xx

  6. Oh Tahnee, no need to apologise you lovely lady, it's the nature of blogging I think... and I'm certain that 99.9% of bloggers understand that there are only so many hours in the day.
    I struggle with it all too. The commenting, the following, the posting, the replies. I am TERRIBLE at replying. I LOVE every single comment, but I am so bad at responding to them. So I have made a rule that I make an effort to reply to specific emails (even though it might take me a week!) and I 'try' to comment on as many blogs as I can, but like yourself, obviously they have to appeal to me. And I guess it comes down to that, we all relate to different things and that is good.
    The nasty stuff, I just don't even get. I was always extremely naive to that kind of stuff, until I saw anonymous hurtful comments on some of the lovely blogs I follow... and it really blew me away. I am from the school of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything, also.

  7. I was just bumming around my stats and found this post. I'm glad I didn't miss it. Thank you so much for the kind words, it really does just kind of fall out of what little brain I have left and onto the blog. My husband goes fishing and I over share on the internet.

    I think when it comes down to it you really have to look away from the lime light and like Clare said {she's so wise} blog your own race. There is no point competing with an uber blogger with 2000 fan and 10,000 clicks a day because chances are your just not there.

    Take each day as it come. Write when you can and read and comment your little heart away when you can xx

  8. Hey Tahnee, I came here from Dani's link. I too found the same clip the other day, and it did make me stop and look at things a little differently.

    Some times you do think that some peoples blogs are a bigger part of their lives than being just a place to put thoughts out there, and that they should be paying more attention to their blog. (no particular person targeted there at all)

    I too am drawn to the the honest bloggers, but honest with a sense of humour and randomness is a must, it can't be a constant depressing honesty.
    I am totally the same, if something doesn't interest me, I will not follow them "just because" and I have no hesitation in unfollowing someone if they get boring or annoying.
    In saying that but, I have got to know some truly amazing people through blogging, and I feel sorry for the people who blogging is stupid, and dismiss it.

  9. Hey Tahnee! Ohhh I get what you are saying here 100%...I have grand plans to blog every day and then real life gets in the way and blogging gets shafted down the list. I too am terrible at replying back to comments - and you've inspired me to try a little harder in that department!

    See you on Monday (if you get around to it/feel like it/don't have something more important and meaningful to do!)

    Big loves x


I love to hear from you, thankyou so much for taking the time to leave a comment x

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