noise pollution

{via}

Total whinge alert here. Also warning this may be the most boring post I have ever written, but alas, this really gives me the shits so I am going to have a good whinge.

Saturday afternoon will see the noise pollution in Melbourne rise considerably. When two screaming banshees take to the great Rod Laver Arena. Perhaps they are grunting banshees? No, I think I was right the first time. These two have taken grunting to a whole new level.

I really enjoy the tennis. I have been to the Open a few times and spend many a late night glued to the tele during the tournament fortnight. I was bummed to see Roger exit the way he did tonight. I think he is hands down THE. BEST. that has ever been. Everything about him SCREAMS excellence. His demeanor, behaviour on and off the court, respect for the players, game attire. His game. FULL. STOP. No bullshit rituals before serving, picking his poorly chosen jocks out of his backside, wiping his nose, tucking his imaginary hair behind his ears, bouncing the ball thirty four times before serving {yes for a second serve too}, grunting and screaming around the court, abusing lines people and/or umpire. His game is made to look effortless. He is a gentleman.

I have to admit I much prefer to watch the men whack the ball around, than the ladies. And for some, I use the term ladies loosely. A lady would wear a skirt to play tennis, would she not? Not shorty short shorts. A lady would not make sounds when she hits the ball (and even when she has already hit the ball for that matter) that sound like she is being inflicted with some sort of punishing violence. It drives me mad. Which is why, as much as I love the game, I will not be tuning in on Saturday for the women's final. I don't even care who wins. I was hoping Kimmy would make it through for back to back titles. She's got guts to her game and she keeps her mouth shut. The two finalists are both as bad as each other. For all their pretty hair and impeccable grooming, it's all lost when they open their mouths. And don't try and tell me the hideous noise makes them play better. What a crock. The list of greats who didn't need to piss off the crowd to win countless tournaments and grand slams, is long. Very long.

As much as the grunters and screamers give me the shits, I am equally disappointed by the tournament committees' and officials' response. Or lack thereof. Why don't they address the issue? Players are fined for racquet abuse, verbal abuse toward officials, poor behaviour on the court. Why not some kind of noise violation? Some of those girls are still screaming when their opponent hits the ball back to them. I think it's really sad to see such a truly classic, courteous and well-mannered game, being played out like that.

The jokes will be rife come Saturday, everyone will have a good laugh. Plenty of ammo for the commentators. I would love to see Andy Murray get through tomorrow night. I would also love to see him shave. But I just don't think it will happen. The winning or the shaving. Bounce-the-ball-thirty-four-times-before-I-serve-Djokovic is too smooth. That's why he's number one. Djokovic/Rafa final? I'll tune in for the unbelievable tennis ability, and put up with the bullshit rituals, but I won't really care who wins that one either.

**Sincere apologies for the profanity. I am not a swearer, unless something gets under my skin. And I was right about the boring factor. Apologies again.