reconnecting

The husband turned forty back in March - toward the beginning of the horrible solo parenting marathon that brought me to my knees. What a joyous time.

Anyway..

I've said it before, he's the don't make a fuss birthday guy {eye roll}. I don't understand it, so I just ignore his silly requests. I wanted to throw him an intimate, thai inspired, backyard dinner with low tables and cushions under a marquee with his closest friends.. of course that was quashed and the day came and went with much normalcy (outside of the big bunch of helium balloons and decorations the kids and I made).

He was deep into a shitty patch of work and it turned out we thought we would have to sing happy birthday and have his cake for breakfast the morning of his birthday, because we wouldn't see him for the rest of the day. Now I don't mind eating cake for breakfast one little bit, but it felt pretty sad that we were going to be apart for the whole day with no evening celebration. We had a special dinner the night before, just in case, and were delighted when he managed to make it home on his birthday for a whole hour to inhale homemade pizzas and eat cheesecake. Who cares if it was 4.30 in the afternoon. Hurrah!

I knew my parents were going to be in town in May and took my cue to request their expertise for an overnight babysitting stint, of which they happily obliged. Our FIRST night away from the kids since becoming parents six and a half years ago! Sad but true. A belated birthday gift for the man who doesn't want any fuss.

There was much (work related) drama to actually get him there - something that was MEANT to be a surprise but had to end up telling him about the morning of.. can you tell I have a hate/hate relationship with his job? There was anger and tears and something along the lines of why can't we be like normal people and spend a night away from our children once in a blue moon with zero drama attached?? WHHHYYYYYY?

Once the drama was behind us and we made our way into the city, I breathed out all those shitty feelings about my plans having crumbled and time having been lost because of his bloody job.. and all was fine. Night fell and the city lit up. It was a strangely balmy autumn evening, perfect for strolling the streets and laneways hand in hand, and walking the banks of the river. We ate dinner leisurely, and talked about things that had been put on the back burner for so long. We joined the crowds on the streets and bridges, heading to and from drinks, dinners, plays, musicals, celebrations.. feeling as though we had stepped into another world - far away from the one we knew. Just for a night.

Just being together with no interruptions, even when there were moments with no conversation, was so rejuvenating. Taking time to look at each other properly, and really listen to and engage in a conversation with full attention was just so wonderful. Plans were made and focus shifted and somehow things felt clearer without three little voices pulling our attention away. Even when there were no issues with our relationship prior to our little getaway (apart from not having seen each other much) it still brought us closer together. We both felt it, without having to say it.

When was the last time you spent a night away from the kids with your love? I will absolutely, positively not wait another six and a half years before we do it again, that's for sure!

In the spirit of all things lovey dovey, I mentioned this song last week, but he's made it official in the studio and now you can buy it on iTunes. Seriously, it's better than the original (sorry Bey Bey). Give me a musician and a deep, silky voice any day and I'm there. Baby, love me lights out..