Friday, 26 July 2013
a whole decade
Yesterday marked a whole decade spent with the husband. In a little over a month we will have been married for eight years. We don't celebrate the getting together anniversary, but as I was filling out the calendar for this month, it dawned on me that it was a more significant date than other years because we had reached double digits. Ten years seemed like such a long time. But short too. TEN YEARS. I remember events and memories that occurred before we were together and they don't feel like they happened over a decade ago. Suddenly, the tick of the clock feels louder. Father Time, I thought it was already loud enough, thankyou very much.
The day began woefully. Grumpy children, equally grumpy mother, chasing, yelling, scrambling for school drop off. I am positive Missy was a snail in a former life. I was broken in less than an hour after getting out of bed. Hubby has been working late nights this week on site so have been afforded his help in the mornings while he catches up on sleep and is able to hang around at home a little longer.
I dropped Ruby at school and headed for the shops to run a handful of errands, alone. I headed straight for the familiar, friendly face of my coffee lady. Whose name I don't know but we always share a warm chat and I never have to actually order because she begins at the machine as soon as she sees me. I always feel better after seeing her. Not only because she is handing me my drug, that will lift my morning instantly, but because she is such a genuinely lovely soul. When she asks how I am, she is asking because she really wants to know. She asks with full eye contact. She waits for my answer. I always tell her the truth. She peeks over the counter on her tippy toes to check for the boys, and agrees we all need some time out - even if only for barely an hour, even if only to restock the nappies, milk and fruit bowl. She punches my coffee card twice. She bids me farewell and wishes me a lovely day - until next time, my friend.
That lonely hour was all I needed yesterday. To turn my foul mood and loud head into a quieter, clearer place. The handful of jobs were done. It was freezing out, and we didn't have to be anywhere until school pick up. We did some washing, made playdough, baked a cake, made soup, zucchini and chorizo slice, the best sweet potato mash I've ever made, and cooked some rice ready for sushi rolling for school this morning. None of that would have happened if I didn't have that little time out earlier in the day. I would have continued to be horribly foul and gone round in circles all day long.
Kids were in bed easily, I sat down for The Block. I kissed the husband goodbye again as he headed out to finish this week's job until the wee hours of this morning. It was only after he left that I remembered our little milestone.
Shamefully, I got stuck watching Formal Wars while waiting for Bridesmaids to come on the box. I hoped to God I was shaping my daughter in a way that would see her senior school formal focussed on an awesome party with her friends, celebrating their youth and some of the best years of her life, rather than crying over the fact that her breasts won't be falling out of her dress enough or that her shoes are only three inches high instead of six. Mostly, I was just grateful she's five.
Even though I went to bed alone last night - not ideal for any anniversary (whether celebrated or not) - I still went to bed happy. Hubby was there when I needed him to allow me a little time for myself, to shake my foul mood and be a better mother to our children for the remainder of the day. To turn what would have been a completely useless day into a really productive one. It seems like such a tiny thing, but in the scheme of things - the daily grind of routine with smalls - it's those little things we must grab hold of.
I don't take time out enough for myself. Not nearly enough. It would be made easier if we lived near my parents, of that I am sure. One day it will be real. It really will.
Do you take enough time for yourself? How long have you and hubby/partner been together?