Friday, 26 July 2013

a whole decade

Yesterday marked a whole decade spent with the husband. In a little over a month we will have been married for eight years. We don't celebrate the getting together anniversary, but as I was filling out the calendar for this month, it dawned on me that it was a more significant date than other years because we had reached double digits. Ten years seemed like such a long time. But short too. TEN YEARS. I remember events and memories that occurred before we were together and they don't feel like they happened over a decade ago. Suddenly, the tick of the clock feels louder. Father Time, I thought it was already loud enough, thankyou very much.

The day began woefully. Grumpy children, equally grumpy mother, chasing, yelling, scrambling for school drop off. I am positive Missy was a snail in a former life. I was broken in less than an hour after getting out of bed. Hubby has been working late nights this week on site so have been afforded his help in the mornings while he catches up on sleep and is able to hang around at home a little longer.

I dropped Ruby at school and headed for the shops to run a handful of errands, alone. I headed straight for the familiar, friendly face of my coffee lady. Whose name I don't know but we always share a warm chat and I never have to actually order because she begins at the machine as soon as she sees me. I always feel better after seeing her. Not only because she is handing me my drug, that will lift my morning instantly, but because she is such a genuinely lovely soul. When she asks how I am, she is asking because she really wants to know. She asks with full eye contact. She waits for my answer. I always tell her the truth. She peeks over the counter on her tippy toes to check for the boys, and agrees we all need some time out - even if only for barely an hour, even if only to restock the nappies, milk and fruit bowl. She punches my coffee card twice. She bids me farewell and wishes me a lovely day - until next time, my friend.

That lonely hour was all I needed yesterday. To turn my foul mood and loud head into a quieter, clearer place. The handful of jobs were done. It was freezing out, and we didn't have to be anywhere until school pick up. We did some washing, made playdough, baked a cake, made soup, zucchini and chorizo slice, the best sweet potato mash I've ever made, and cooked some rice ready for sushi rolling for school this morning. None of that would have happened if I didn't have that little time out earlier in the day. I would have continued to be horribly foul and gone round in circles all day long.

Kids were in bed easily, I sat down for The Block. I kissed the husband goodbye again as he headed out to finish this week's job until the wee hours of this morning. It was only after he left that I remembered our little milestone.

Shamefully, I got stuck watching Formal Wars while waiting for Bridesmaids to come on the box. I hoped to God I was shaping my daughter in a way that would see her senior school formal focussed on an awesome party with her friends, celebrating their youth and some of the best years of her life, rather than crying over the fact that her breasts won't be falling out of her dress enough or that her shoes are only three inches high instead of six. Mostly, I was just grateful she's five.

Even though I went to bed alone last night - not ideal for any anniversary (whether celebrated or not) - I still went to bed happy. Hubby was there when I needed him to allow me a little time for myself, to shake my foul mood and be a better mother to our children for the remainder of the day. To turn what would have been a completely useless day into a really productive one. It seems like such a tiny thing, but in the scheme of things - the daily grind of routine with smalls - it's those little things we must grab hold of.

I don't take time out enough for myself. Not nearly enough. It would be made easier if we lived near my parents, of that I am sure. One day it will be real. It really will.

Do you take enough time for yourself? How long have you and hubby/partner been together?


  1. We've been together 12 years this year and 'time out' is rare but cherished when I/we get it. I think we all need down time, it really makes you appreciate your loved ones more.
    Someone once said to me something along these lines:
    "your children are your life but your husband must be number one. We must all work on our marriages, date each other as much as time/kids allows, get to know each other more each day, fall deeper in love every day.......(she went on).......because when the kids leave the nest, it's just the two of you, and if you don't give each other time when you have kids, when the kids are gone your marriage will struggle."
    So go and tell hubby that you need to get a babysitter and he needs to date his ravishing wife!
    Have a great weekend xx

  2. ps congrats on a decade xoxo

  3. A decade together is something to celebrate, Tahnee. We've been together 17 1/2 years (gah!) and married 11. It feels like only yesterday that we first clapped eyes on each other. And thanks to that darling man of mine I absolutely do get enough time out for myself. x

  4. Happy 10 YEARS I think its a great milestone...and no matter how your celebrated or acknowledged can celebrate it all year! Hubby and I have been together 14 years...married for 12 years...but really it feels like only a few years ago that we were a baby-faced a family with children growing up so fast...I do often wonder where the time goes!!!

  5. Congrats, 10 years doesn't seem long but then look what you've achieved in that time, it's pretty monumental.
    Chorizo slice, interested...

  6. Congratulations on 10 years together it's amazing how much time flies by doesn't it, whenever I think back to the early days it just doesn't seem as long ago as it really is. This year my hubby and I celebrate 20 years of being together and 15 years of being married, the time has just disappeared but I feel such a wonderful sense of achievement being able to call him my husband and partner for all of this time. Time to yourself is so needed just to regroup, it can be easy to forget how much we really need alone time. I like the sound of your coffee lady, I like it when you meet people like that, that you make a connection with and who make you feel good when you leave:) Wishing you a wonderful weekend. xx

  7. Ten years! Congratulations! I'm so happy you got that time to yourself, it really can make the world of difference to your state of mind. Especially when you're throwing toilet training in the mix - Good luck! I hope you did manage to celebrate at some stage though ;) xx

  8. Oh I know those days well, although I often find it hard to turn them around... Happy ten years Tahnee! It really is a big milestone! We are 13 years together!!! and 7 married, I'm not quite sure where the time goes... xo


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